Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I Don't Feel Ready For This

Today marks exactly one week away from when we take Xavier to go meet his preschool teacher. When Jared and I were first dating/engaged we talked about whether or not we would send our kids to preschool. It wasn't something I was super keen on - mainly because in most areas you have to pay for it. Then we moved to downtown Winnipeg and learned that they offer free preschool in our division. So, the talk began about whether or not to send him and after much debate we decided that he would really enjoy it so we should take advantage of it.

Now that the time is drawing near for him to actually go, I am feeling very nervous about it. Not because I don't think it will be good for him. I know he'll love it. He'll learn a ton, he'll make new friends. And I'm sure I will enjoy the peace and quiet of him not pestering Shaela for the few hours he's gone every day.

But on the other hand, I don't know that I'm ready to let him go. My baby boy is growing up so fast. I've been his sole care provider since he was first laid on my chest in the hospital and I don't know that I'm quite ready to let someone else get to spend their afternoons with him. He's never been to daycare - I used to run one of my own, so he has always been with me. I've left him in the church nursery every week....but it's not the same! I know he'll be fine. And I know I will too. But it's that sentimental part of me - which if you know me, you know is a big part! I'm a sap! - that's telling me it can't be time for this! My head knows it's a good thing, but my heart just isn't quite ready to let go.

*Sigh* Dear Kleenex manufacturers: can you please have a very large box delivered to my door for September 13th? I'm going to need it.

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